Girl To Woman

When do you change from girl to woman?

Is it when your body begins to change

Curves begin to show And hair begins to grow?

Or is it when you mentally change

You see years fly by you then realise that you’re not a youth

Do you immediately wake up on the birthday of your legal age and feel a certain way?

More mature, older, wiser because we all know with age comes wisdom

With age comes the loss of innocence turned into nasty experiences

The loss of your mother, death of your father

Abused by your lover under the covers

The rose tinted glasses are well and truly off

Life is no longer a playing field

Instead you realise that miles of green grass have been replaced by tower blocks

A concrete jungle, the leader of the pack nicknamed Lion

He too is in limbo, not knowing whether he is boy or man

He tries to prove his manhood by running the ‘hood’

Thinking fear means you’re respected

Not knowing that fear means that you’ll always be rejected, From real life,

you’ll never get to experience a true love

As you always want the girl who shuts up and lets you beat her

To show the boys who never believed ya

They sing your praises

Secretly only because you pay their wages

You see, they don’t respect you,

They respect your possessions and that is what they aspire to

For you the rose tinted glasses are truly on

Not knowing that you were born alone and you will surely die alone.

This piece of writing stemmed from a two month trip I took to Zambia as part of a University project. The cultural differences showed that even though young women may experience certain things, their perception of when you become a woman contrasted significantly to my own views at the time. I was 20 and felt as though I was in limbo between youth and womanhood, which is what led me to question ‘When do you change from girl to woman?’ I was heavily influenced by real life experiences and the harsh realities that many girls/women face.

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Nostalgia

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Betrayed by your best friend, you choose your worst friend to go on the bend.

Hours and hours of drinking and fake reminiscing.

You call it a night to save your sanity and feel alright.

Then the moment kicks in when you feel as though you’ve sinned

You stay solitude for a couple of days, thinking of different ways to approach this awkward situation.

As days begin fading, you then begin dating to pass the time so you can feel alive.

Never forgetting your best friend from back in the day that shot your emotions rocket high.

No one reaches these levels.

It’s always more like a balloon being forced to fly as high as the sky on a warm winter’s night.

We all pretend.

Realising this, I carry on with this false interpretation of life.

This is when I truly begin to fly as high as a kite, reaching the same level as that rocket flying high above the night sky.